THE JONATHAN ROSS SHOW: FULL RUNDOWN FOR THIS WEEK'S EPISODE, GUESTS AND PERFORMER REVEALED

On this week’s episode of The Jonathan Ross Show Jonathan is joined by comedian and Celebrity Traitors winner Alan Carr, American actress Neve Campbell, comedian Rob Beckett and his author wife Lou, and actor Archie Madekwe. Plus, there is music by Mumford & Sons.

Comedian Alan Carr discusses his life post The Traitors saying: “I’m buying a castle. I’m having a midlife crisis. I want a turret to call me own. I’m in my turret era.” 

He adds: “I fancy a move and I loved being in The Traitors castle, so I thought, ‘I’m going to get myself one.’ You know when people have a midlife crisis that they get a ponytail or a Lamboughini… I want a castle. You know when you fancy something? I just want one. 

“I’m 50 this year - I know I don’t look it - and I just want one.”

He continues: “I know it sounds very grand. I’m moving from where I am at the minute, I want animals there, I want a community thing. I’m lonely where I am. It’ll be nice, having people come there and have a cream tea. I want people to come in and have donkeys and stuff everywhere.” 

Alan jokes: “The estate agent said, ‘Do you want some Highland cows?’ I said, ‘Yeah, stick them on.’”  

He continues: “I want to re-introduce wolves. If I’m a landowner I can re-introduce wolves. That’d be nice. Helps the ecosystem… I read somewhere… maybe I’ll have a think about that. I want it to be like a big old zoo, I love it.” 

Actress Neve Campbell interjects: “I’ve got friends who have a castle that’s for sale.” 

Alan replies: “Give my name! Turret, drawbridge, moat that kind of sh**t.” 

He adds: “I’ve had to get a loan out. But I love Scotland.” 

Discussing Celebrity Traitors Alan says: “It was so intense. It was long hours as well. [You’d hear that] ‘dong’ [sound] at the end of the day and you go out. But the Traitors were taken around the side, an empty car drives off and everyone thinks we’re in there. We were getting in about 2am. Stephen Fry around the round table was like, ‘Right, look for people who are tired.’ I’m like that [mimes holding his eyes open].” 

He continues: “[In one episode] I had to say, ‘I am a Faithful’ and I couldn’t say it, I burst out laughing. I was so crap.”

Alan says he’s not normally spotted in America but on a recent holiday he explaines it was different: ‘This woman went, ‘I see you Traitor! Who’ve you murdered today?’ People think I’m a murderer walking around looking for my next victim!” 

Of whether she’d sign up for the show Neve says: “I’ve always said no [to reality TV]. My dear friend is Alan Cumming. But no.”

With Valentine’s Day in mind, talk turns to dating and Jonathan Ross asks if it’s true Neve has dated a notable British celebrity to which she replies: “It wasn’t a date. I went to a friend’s birthday party and someone said, ‘There’s Harry.’ I said, ‘Harry who?’ [They said] ‘Prince Harry’. 

“We did have a chat. He told me that he had a poster of me on his wall when he was a child. That’s a little awkward. I don’t know if that was a line. It could have been a line. We had a dance, we had a nice time. We didn’t exchange numbers or anything.”

Of then being invited to a charity event and seeing him again Neve says: “He was really lovely. He started talking about his grandmother and we were chatting and then I realised who he was talking about and it was very odd.” 

Speaking about her new Scream film, Scream 7, Neve says of the franchise starting: “It was in 1996, 30 years ago. 

“They won’t let anyone see it [Scream 7] until the actual day. It’s great. It’s really good. When they came to me about this one, they said they wanted to come back to Sidney Prescott and see where she is at in this journey in her life. She’s a mother, a teen daughter. It’s been very brave of her to decide to have a family considering what happens to most of the people in her life. Her worst nightmare is that Ghostface would come and harm her family and, of course, it’s a Scream movie so that’s exactly what happens. Isabel May, who plays my daughter, is fantastic. 

“It’s a very dramatic film. I love making them. The first one was like summer camp… we were all young and new in our careers. It was such a magical experience. The ones who survive, every time we get to re-visit each other it’s a lot of fun.”

Of having trick or treaters turn up at her house as Ghostface, Neve says: “Halloween every year. They’re pretty freaked out [to find me].” 

Neve says of how her career started in Canada: “I started out as a ballerina, I was at the National Ballet School when I was 9, my first job was Phantom of the Opera when I was 14. 

“Every night, I did 800 shows in 2 years, I had to scream every night - it helped with the film.”

Describing working with a real bear on a film, Neve says: “I had to do a scene with a black bear when I was 18, a real bear and at that age you think I just want to please the director. They said,’We want the bear to chase you, so dip your hand in honey and run.’ I went, ‘OK’. Not smart… I ran to a boulder, put my hand out, it’s supposed to come to my hand, decides not to go for my hand, it grabs me by the leg and pulls me through the forest.” 

She adds they eventually “got it angry enough to let me go” before she insisted on doing it again to get the shot. 

Actor Archie Madekwe, who stars in Steal, reveals a Game of Thrones audition that went very wrong.  

He explains: “I auditioned for Game of Thrones a few times. There was one time, I was quite young, sat down in the casting office, I was really excited, I thought, ‘This room stinks… why does it smell so bad?’ I get into the actual audition room and I’m like, ‘It’s even stronger in here…’ It’s actually kind of putting me off… it’s making me feel a bit sick. 

“The day goes by and I think, ‘That was so strange’. I go to this party. Someone says, ‘How was your day… ‘ then the smell was back. Dog poo was on my shoes. I’ve trodden it all around the office… insane that I didn’t think to check that. I didn’t get the part.” 

Speaking about landing the lead in Gran Turismo Archie explains: “I couldn’t drive. I passed my test a week before I got there. I was shooting Saltburn and learning to drive at night. Got there and I was driving 180 miles an hour.

“It was one of the most incredible but difficult things I’ve ever done. A lot of the time I wouldn’t be driving, I’d be in the driver’s seat, someone would be on the roof driving me at 180 miles an hour. The only way you don’t get sick as a racing car driver is to look through the turns. I can’t look through the turns because the camera is there. I’d have a button to say, ‘I’m going to vomit’, I’d vomit, then I’d clap myself back in and re-start the take. You can’t stop because there’s eight other race car drivers driving around. It was so difficult, and I guess amazing.”

He adds: “I haven’t driven since. I live in London so I don’t really need to drive. It kind of did put me off.” 

Archie reveals: “I was taught by the secret Top Gear Stig, he taught me how to drive properly.”

Describing supernatural experiences, Archie says he encountered a very notable ghost while filming Saltburn: “We were staying in this hotel, there was a picture of Queen Victoria on the wall and it said, ‘Queen Victoria gifted this portrait to the hotel when she stayed here.’ Me and Alison Oliver, we were like, that’s amazing. This guy came out of the darkness, like Filch in Harry Potter and he was like, ‘They say she haunts it.’ I said, ‘Wow, OK. Which room?’ And it was the room next to my room. I’m then sitting there looking at the wall, freaking myself out. But I think, ‘It’s OK, she’s not going to come through the wall.’ And then, a really weird thing happened. As I have this thought, this is no word of a lie, the wall explodes, like all of the plaster from the wall just [blew off] and covers me in plaster. So I call the reception and I say, ‘Excuse me, the wall just exploded in my room.’ The young girl doing the overnight shift is like, ‘OK sir, I’ll come up…’ she tiptoes into my room, covering her face, she thought it was the ghost. They tried to move my room, but the only one they had available was Queen Victoria’s room. It was like she was saying, ‘I’m here!’” 

Comedian Rob Beckett later discusses going for a BBQ at Alan’s house and the mishaps it led to. 

Firstly Alan explains: “Rob said, ‘Can I make myself at home?’ He pulled his trousers down and sat in his pants.” 

Rob adds: “Me, Lou and the kids went round, there wasn’t any shade in the garden, it was so hot, I had jeans on, I said, ‘I’m too hot.’ I just went to my pants.”

Rob’s wife and author Lou Beckett continues: “He does it quite a lot. He did it while I was in labour. My waters went and he panicked. I said my trousers are wet and he went to give me his… the midwife came back in and was like, ‘Why?’” 

Rob admits: “I panicked.”

Lou adds: “She just went, ‘She doesn’t need them now.’” 

Discussing Lou’s book about being a default parent, Rob says: “I’ve been on tour, I couldn’t tell you what the kids are doing at school tomorrow. I know that sounds bad. I do do a bit more when I’m not touring so much. I was the class rep for a bit, put myself forward. I stepped up.”

Lou says: “There was a mutiny and then a coup. So he wasn't a class rep for very long, didn’t even make it to Christmas. Rob trimmed the fat of the job so much that he wasn’t doing the job. So then some mums just took back over.”

Rob explains: “No-one was replying on the WhatsApp group and I found out through Lou that another WhatsApp group had been set up with a new class rep. I was basically class repping to no-one.” 

Discussing other jobs he’s done Alan says: “I’ve done everything. I put the raisins into Fruit & Fibre. I’d just throw the raisins in. When it was Friday I’d throw a few more in.”

Working with Susie Dent on Secret Genius for Channel 4 Alan adds: “I love the whole idea of the show; every day people with extraordinary minds who maybe haven’t fulfilled their potential. It’s so lovely. You fall in love with everyone. They do these extraordinary games and it inspires them. They’re so humble and they’re unassuming, they haven't been pushed to their potential.”

At the end of the show Mumford & Sons perform live. 

The Jonathan Ross Show airs Saturday nights on ITV1 and ITVX.